I got a burst of inspiration from a text message.

I'm once again going to warn you: this is potentially a big waste of five minutes unless you actually know what I'm talking about. If you don't, I'll probably sound crazy. If you have better things to do, do them.

Sometimes when I meet new people from far away, I wonder, why don't they live closer? Or, I wish they went to my school. I always blamed the town or the school thinking that these people who I care about so much exist in other places, in their own lives in towns that aren't mine, thinking that Hillsdale or Pascack Valley just attracted the wrong crowd. Here's my question: would I really be as good of friends with these distant people if I actually went to school with them? Saw them every day? Had known them since first grade?

I don't think anyone can really answer that question. Maybe a lot of us feel the same.

I know people from all over; I love meeting people, making new friends, and I love the feeling of seeing someone you miss so much for the first time in a while. The anticipation that builds and the adrenaline rush that comes over you is indescribable.

The motivation behind this post: What happens when you miss someone so much that you not only miss them, but the anticipation, too? And what happens when one stops believing in your bond because of distance?

When you have a conflict, whether it's a fight or misunderstanding, there's a new type of adrenaline rush. The kind that breaks you down rather than gives you strength. What's weird is, you can't just drive over and talk things out. Phone calls, texts, e-mails, Facebook, IMs; it's the only way of contact when someone is far away. What happens when they stop answering? Block you out completely? Is it fear and are they being selfish?

And how much worse is it when the person actually warns you they're going to stop answering, trying to explain that the distance is only going to hurt them more?

"I'm not sure if we can talk anymore because the more we talk, the harder it's going to get. I want to but I'm sorry."

Probably once so innocently written by Alex Gaskarth, noticing this truth and putting it into a song, recording it, singing it for a crowd, and speaking for more than just me, he states "I'm falling more in love with the distance put between us."

If you think about it, which I guess Alex Gaskarth did, it's so completely true.

Is the love solely a product of the anticipation and the wanting? And does the want get so strong that it becomes unbearable to even speak anymore?

For example purposes, from 2000-2007, I went to a summer camp (the one which I now work at) and spent eight summers with people from all over, some of which I knew I'd actually never see again. It's extremely difficult to look back on whatever period of time spent and really say, "I spent my time with them to the fullest and I am completely satisfied and content with no regrets."

My horoscope yesterday said almost exactly this:

You wish you could go back in time and change something you did, but you can't look back. You have to look forward.

I've become so used to looking back with respect to the future; it's actually better.

Hahaha oh, and here's my horoscope for today:

Go ahead and get more philosophical today -- get a lot of intellectualizing done.

Life.